What if My Friends Are Dieting? How to Handle Peer Diet Talk in High School & College
Picture this: you’re at the lunch table, in the dorm dining hall, or hanging out with friends after class when the conversation suddenly shifts to dieting. Someone mentions cutting carbs, skipping meals to “be good,” or starting a new workout plan. Before you know it, the focus is on food rules and bodies.
If you’re in high school or college and working on healing your relationship with food, this can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone—peer influence is powerful during the teen and young adult years, and it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to handle it.
Why Diet Talk Is Everywhere
Dieting and body-focused conversations often show up as a way for people to bond. In high school, it might be about comparing lunches or talking about “eating clean” before a dance or sports season. In college, it might be conversations in the dorms or gym about meal plans, fasting, or new diet trends.
Diet culture is so normalized in our society that it can feel like the default way to connect. The problem? Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s healthy.
How Peer Dieting Can Impact You
Even if you don’t join the conversation, just being around diet talk can have an impact.
Emotionally: It can increase guilt or shame, heighten anxiety around food, and fuel comparison with your friends.
Behaviorally: Hearing others restrict may tempt you to skip meals, second guess your food choices, ignore hunger cues, and engage in disordered eating patterns.
Body Image: It can reinforce negative self-talk and make you more critical of your body.
When you’re in recovery from an eating disorder or simply letting go of unhelpful dieting rules, this can be especially triggering. It’s not about being “weak”—it’s about being human in a culture that praises dieting and thinness.
Things to Remind Yourself
When diet talk comes up, grounding yourself in these reminders can help:
Their food and body choices don’t define yours. You’re on your own journey.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Eating what is nourishing for you is enough.
Quick fixes aren’t long-term solutions. Recovery is about building peace with food, not more rules.
Strategies for Handling Food/Diet/Body Talk
You don’t have to sit silently or join in. Here are some practical ways to respond:
Change the subject. Redirect to a new topic—classes, sports, shows, weekend plans.
“Hey, did you guys see the new episode…?”Set a boundary. If you feel comfortable, let friends know diet talk is hard for you.
“I’m trying not to focus on food and dieting—can we talk about something else?”Use internal boundaries. Even if you don’t say anything, you can remind yourself:
“That’s their journey, not mine.”Seek out safe spaces. Spend time around people who support you, or reach out to your support team when you need it.
How Friends (and Others) Can Show Up for You
If you have close friends, it may help to let them know when diet talk feels difficult. You don’t have to go into detail about your recovery if you’re not comfortable—something simple like, “I’m working on having a healthier relationship with food, so I try not to get into diet stuff,” can be enough. You might also ask a close friend to help change the subject when diet talk comes up, or even join you for a meal or snack to take some of the pressure off.
Support can look different depending on your stage of life. For some, it might mean FaceTiming a parent or sibling during a meal, asking a trusted adult like a coach or school counselor for help when peer conversations feel overwhelming, or planning to eat with a friend who knows what you’re working on. If you’re in college, it could mean leaning on a supportive roommate, joining a student group, or connecting with the campus counseling center. Having even one person who understands and can step in—whether to change the subject, share a snack, or simply be present—can make food and social situations feel a lot more manageable.
Finding Food Freedom Beyond Diet Talk
Diet talk is everywhere, and it can be tough to stand apart when friends are bonding over the latest fad or food rule. But you don’t have to join in to belong. Protecting your peace with food and body is more important than fitting into conversations that don’t serve you.
True friendships are built on more than what you eat or how you look—you deserve relationships that celebrate who you are.
And if peer dieting and food talk feel overwhelming, working with an eating disorder dietitian can help. Together, we can build the tools and confidence you need to stay grounded in recovery, handle social pressures, and find lasting food freedom in high school, college, and beyond.